Akrasia

Against your better judgment.

There are instances in life, when one acts against one's better judgment.

One single moment, can threaten the good of all the better moments.

States of anger, states of drug or alcohol intoxication, states of neglect of one's own mind health.

These states of weakness can lessen our power to pursue the good.

We instead choose the lesser, the near-evil.

Why?

Because there is a weakness in one's will.

But sometimes we choose the lesser, or near-evil, even in a state of clarity ...

And not because of a weak will, but in contrast, sometimes out of a determined will.

But clearly then, that is not a state of clarity.

Something right in a perfect state of clarity, is the undeniable and no-other-way kind of right.

It must be pursued.

Must.

But we can usually pursue the good with only a good amount of clarity, without the need for perfect insight.

So again, why?

The answer may be different for each person and for each action, but,

... one thing remains.

The pursuit of the higher and of the good is not, and was never, easy.

But that's what makes it the more desirable.

The futility of man and the near-unattainability of the divine.

Strength gives strength to strength, so do not cease to exert all you have.

For if you have given all you have, there can be no blaming you for anything after that.

You are only responsible for all you have anyway.

Give it all for the good.

Sunday Evening Reminisce

I remember when I was younger, complaining to my mother that I couldn't study properly in a house that was messy and cluttered. "Environment makes an impact on how you study, mom!"

That was my excuse for half effort school work. But clearly, interior design was on my mind from a young age.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to RCC Academy of Design to enroll in their 2-year Interior Design program. It's gonna cost me $23,000, so I really hope it becomes a good investment for my future career. I'm dropping University, which is still scaring the pants out of me. I always wanted to get my Ph.D and then become a Philosophy Professor but ... I want to go on a journey, an adventure.

See what I can do in this world.

My Very Own Big Bang

To find truth, find out first whether it's the chicken or the egg. Examining phenomena and their causes leads you to to the very first instance of the Big Bang, which was said to be the size of your embryo at the very instant of your own unexplainable, miraculous conception. You are life, and the miracle is life.

Life's An Adventure

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
- Hellen Keller

I think I want to try my hand at Interior Design. Why not? I'm a sports loving male, beer drinker, and love to drive fast cars. But seriously, what do you think? I've always had a creative side to me since I was young. After elementary, I auditioned and was accepted into a *special* Arts High School for the Extremely Talented & Bright Young Individuals. I did music the first two years, and then re-auditioned and got accepted into their visual arts program because that's what Extremely Talented & Bright Young Individuals do. All kidding aside, I found in art a way to express my philosophy to the world through paintings and sculptures. Moreover, doing that made me feel alive. On top of that, I ended up being awarded the Visual Arts Award at graduation as well as the Mario Gasparrato Award for the Top Young Visual Artist in Toronto.

So naturally, after winning an Art Scholarship in high school what did I do? I entered the University of Toronto Where You Are Just Another Number University and proceeded to study Psychology and Philosophy and Sociology courses.

After my first year, I did not return to school and moved to Calgary to work for a while wondering if there was any reason to return and finish my degree.

After two years I moved back home and found myself unhappy with the basement room I was sharing with my brother. First of all, he's a soldier for the Canadian Reserves and therefore leaves his clothes on the floor or anything else with a flat surface (ie. chair, table, or tv top). He doesn't know or doesn't want to keep a tidy and neat living space. So I proceeded to pick up and fold and hang all the clothes in the room and once this was done, I saw how much better the room looked with more open space and clothes-less flat surfaces. I actually felt something in myself free up. A liberating experience.

It occured to me that that wasn't enough. I took out the drabby brown closet door at the end of the room (got a screwdriver and unscrewed the door hinges and threw the door out). The white pine wood door frame now framed an open and doorless closet, creating an additional sense of depth instead of the closed feeling of 'boxness' the closed door gave the room. Next: The ceiling bulb right outside the closet was naked and too bright. I found some white translucent wax baking sheets and with some white thread fashioned a hanging Japanese paper lantern. It softened the light which is much more relaxing for the eyes.


I've moved the DVD collection from the top shelf to the middle shelf because small angel sculptures and other inspiring objects should sit at the top where the eyes shift first, while the less visually appealing stuff take second attention underneath. I decided to keep the futon couch/bed in bed position because the flat surface accentuates the feeling of space in the room, and I didn't mind doubling it as a sittable flat couch. And when I pulled out my Art Scholarship Award in its big black wooden frame, I decided to take the actual certificate paper out and put up the empty frame on the wall you see first when you enter the room. For more empty space senses? No, because being ever so brilliant I decided an empty frame would remind me of all that I have not achieved (yet) in life.

For to stop pushing yourself is to die, and that would be the end of a fun and exciting adventure.

But seriously, what do you think?