The confusion and therefore pain that has surrounded us began with your descent into a material plane, where we do not exist. A material world where material interraction and material distance becomes visible. Where you lose sight of the goal.
But I do not blame you... in the spiritual plane, I smile and hold my hands down to you with love, for I understand how deceptive the material plane is. I see the beggining and end, and I see the entire path from the height I am at, as you did at a time.
Our bond was created by our joint desire to ascend the material plane, and the close proximity of our success. But you were attacked first, and brought down, where I could no longer see you, and you could no longer see me.
And day after day, I am kneeling down, reaching down to you, begging you to take my hand and join me once more, where you will see me, see you, see eternity.
You look at me... but I'm a mirage. You catch a glimpse of the plane, but the material world clutches at you. You are being deceived and are told to invite me. You attempt to fool me into believing that worldly obstacles are of importance.
I am weakened by your words, by your actions, and I descend closer to you, closer to being in the same place as you. But then I look up, and I look down, and I see that you have no vision of God. But I still see. And so I perch myself, on the edge of the plane.
I stare at you, with aching eyes. Aching to spring to life the stopped engine of your heart. To lighten your burden just enough to float up here, and climb.
And every time you begin to ascend, every time you begin to float, every time you see only my eyes clearly, the demons clutch you and yank you down, blurring me.
And as you strike the material plane, you curse me, you hate me, you loathe me, for I deceived you again. I made you a fool. You discount me more than before, for I keep dropping you.
This time, I will descend to the beguiled plane. I will hold you in my arms. I will take you up with me, so you don't have to climb, so you don't have to suffer, so you don't have to worry. You will stare into me and I will stare into you. You will see the spiritual plane in my eyes, for I will keep the memory strong in me for the both of us.
You will awaken of your trance, and you will breathe clean air, see sunlight, and observe those in the material plane once more as you did, troubled, lost, and your heart will want to help them, to ease their pain.
But I will not let you fall again. I will not let you fall, as you try to help them. You will hold onto me, and know that I want you to. And you can freely help everyone you want with the wandering heart that you have.
Hope. It is the hope that binds you to this plane. It is hope that binds me to this plane. It is your loss of hope that has pitted you with the demons. And their thirst flows through you, into me. I have enough hope to sustain me. I have enough hope to sustain you. I have enough hope to sustain all that I want to. And as you use my hope to sustain your stability in this plane, you will be able to bring others. I have an abundance of hope in this plane, in my ability to see it, and your place here.
As I stare at the future and at the past, I know now why I never claimed to love you. I never claimed to love you, because I could not hold you here. I did not feel that I could.
And now is the time to prove that I can, for I am full of hope, and my gentle eyes and strong arms will sustain your ascendancy.
(Even now they whisper in your ears. "He is a fool." "He is fulfilling something within himself, and using you." "He needs you for his own insecurities." "Do not listen to him." "Do not listen to him." "He is full of flaws." "He is not perfect. He is not what you want." "He is wrong." "How does he know?" "If he was something, you would feel it." "You are protected now... he wants to unprotect you." "Hope never lasts. It always fades. You must build peace slowly, using the real rules." "There are no shortcuts, it is a pipe-dream". "You must not escape the realities of your life.")
(Simply, not one of those phrases was spoken by God. Solely the demons. You can tell, can't you? Because nothing God would tell you would lead to a loss of hope. God is hope. God flourishes in hope. Hope means jumping over all the pain, because God permitted it. And the more you reject that hope that so desperately wants to flourish, the more interwinded you get in this material world of hopelessness, the more painfully difficult it will be to tear away from it. It is this cycle that wants to re-surface. They tell you the dream is false, that reality is hopelessness. And they will continue to tell you this. And after years, something within you, repressed for so long as you attempt to repress it now will re-surface, and you will want to begin dreaming again (just as you did before, remember?) But you will not be able to, because you will not be free. You are free, in this material world, at this time in your life. Free to do as you wish and please. It is now that you must continue dreaming, and bind yourself to nothing that will stop your dreams from being explored.
Forsake the demons. Clasp the dream that is more real than reality.)
(Reality is what you feel when you listen to a song and your heart soars or plummets. You must not reject those waves, you must embrace them, as you will after years of repression. For the heart will keep pounding, keep pounding, and your fears of the freeness of hope will die. It is then that you will listen to a song, a song you have heard a million times, and suddenly hear it for the first time, like you did so long ago. You will awaken, and regret all that time lost. You will hate the demons just as you feared hope, and feared God.)
(Read this over and over, until you see it.)
From,
Decius
